Dress appropriately or don’t bother showing up!

Recently I was chatting with one of my best friends about weddings and while checking out her wedding photos, I noticed a person who was very inappropriately dressed. Now before you get out the pitchforks, hear me out. It’s not a gender issue and I’m not imposing a man’s perspective on how women should dress.

The wedding was held in a church and this young lady was wearing a mini cocktail dress. She looked absolutely stunning in it but when the elders are giving you the death stare, it’s not a good sign. Plus, you’re also taking attention away from the bride to you. I wouldn’t take issue with it if we were at a bar or club, but we weren’t. It’s about common decency, where one should dress appropriately according to the venue and occasion.

My friend explained that the lady had lost her luggage and she was late to the wedding (or something like that). She felt sorry for this person but still agreed it was inappropriate.

I am blessed to have been invited to many weddings. I love cultures, rituals and traditions of other races, and attending a wedding is the best way to gain a better understanding of it. I also enjoy people watching -- the happiness and joy that everyone is feeling and of course witnessing the union of two people. However, on some occasions you can spot the odd one out, the one that dresses so inappropriately that one cannot help but notice.

There are few simple guidelines to follow when dressing up for weddings. My advice would be to choose the outfit according to the venue. If the wedding is held at a place of worship i.e. mosque, church, temple or any form of religious setting, cover up! Nobody wants to see

the extra bits hanging out and about.

It may be just a wedding for you (so you think you can wear the most glamorous dress you have in your wardrobe) but you stick out like a sore thumb when everyone is covered up and you’re not. You could consider wearing their traditional costume. Trust me, the couple and their family will appreciate that gesture as it means you’re not only respecting them, but you went out to buy an attire so that you could be part of the festivities.

The next thing is the type of event, because not all religious ceremonies take place at a temple or a mosque. So, you need to know what kind of ceremony you are attending.

Example:

If you are attending a Muslim solemnisation ceremony (nikah) held at home/hall, it’s best for you to cover up because it is a religious ceremony.

If you are attending an Indian wedding, you should find out if you are attending the wedding

ceremony or dinner. If you are invited to the wedding ceremony, that’s a religious event too – there will be priests from the temple who will perform prayers. I’ve attended a couple of Indian weddings which are not held at a temple. In such cases, the couple will choose to build a temporary temple in the hall for the elaborate ceremony.

Whether you believe in god or not, you should show your respect and dress up accordingly. Because what you wear might be of discomfort to others - and that’s not a cool thing!

While I’m at it, let’s talk about those who are extremely underdressed. Early this year, I attended a rather extravagant Indian wedding. It was held at a fancy wedding hall in the morning, which also meant that it was a religious wedding ceremony.

The couple wore a full-on traditional wedding outfit complete with flower garlands. Almost all the guests wore beautiful traditional outfits - ladies in saree and men in kurta. While queuing to greet the bride and groom, I noticed a couple who went to take photos with the newlywed. They wore t-shirts, jeans and sneakers and looked completely out of place. Like, really.

I am not trying to be mean, but I feel they have no sense of respect towards the newlywed. The least they could do is put on some decent clothing. (I kind of know them, and I know they come from a well to do family, so, it’s not like they can’t afford to buy anything).

I just shook my head when I looked at that horrible image of two extremely underdressed people with the newlywed. Very disrespectful.

It’s someone’s happiest moment in life. And this underdressed couple obviously matter to them hence they were invited. The least they could do is respect their friend on their big day.

Make them happy with your presence, and not have to explain to their family members what kind of inconsiderate friends they have.

If it were my wedding, I will probably print it on the invitation card, “Dress appropriately or don’t bother showing up!”